The real sun - not reflected - is shining on my "Scribe" card which stands on the tall Sony speaker just to my left and shines on my shoulder even. A unique event to me as I usually write earlier in the day! The early bird may catch the worm, but I late bird catch the sun!

Yesterday was cold as well, but tomorrow is going to be a little better and then the temps will become more seasonal. Tomorrow I have a medical test appointment, followed by a lunch with Herman for which I plan to take a taxi to the Blackfoot this time.

As I work away on this I realise that in the past I never gave my self time to do this sorting; it all had to be done quickly.

I continued with my straitening, sorting and organising last afternoon and evening too. The bedroom table top is now visible in part, but still has lots of piles. As I work away on this I realise that in the past I never gave my self time to do this sorting; it all had to be done quickly. It is as if I was avoiding hurtful feelings and memories that I did not want to give the time to register! Important insight my late counsellor Logan would say.

What are those feelings and memories is now my question! As I sort through the physical stuff I will have to look insight as I go, to find the answer. Usually just keeping that inner attention shining, the awareness will come. Trust the process I often tell myself.

Yesterday and this morning I have that urge to start on my mentioned Narrative, no matter what. That is the right thing to-do is to make this start, even though it may not feel like the right way for now. The right way is to start regardless! So, I will make a start under the Writings header today and then continue with my Narrative as an essay, which I will post on my website in the "Topicals" category See you below!
<10:51am.

Introduction:
Biographies have been quite popular for the last decades, but that form I do not intend to use. Rather I want to relate the development process of religious teachings, ideas and experiences as these found their place in my life as lived. Therefore I will start with my earliest recalled memory that marks the beginning of the Narrative as experience, though there is one earlier awareness that I will reference much later in my Narrative.

I choose "Narrative" over story, because the latter can have a plot, whereas I am looking for meaning, but meaning and plot are cousins I feel! The word "narrative" itself simply means "to give an account", which is what I want to do. Biography gives an account of a life lived, which is not my intention as such, though I will make a biographical note at times. So, Narrative is it and in my case it accounts the development of religious understanding of my life and how I view human life and all of existence.

In human society we learn to value fame, fortune and power as important. These by themselves I consider roadside attraction to get us to move from birth to death.

Motivation:
Growing up we all have been motivated in various ways. First you listen to your parents, next to your teachers and then you decide for yourself seeking to make a place for yourself in the society you know. Upon retirement some people continue with their choices, but I ended up on a journey that was totally un planned.

Upon retirement in May 1999, I started a four year sojourn living in my old country the Netherland with Canadian intermezzos. Upon resettling in Calgary in 2003 I started a study of religion in a general sense and now in 2017/8 I have come to a conviction and view that I want to express as time to do so is getting shorter, while my convictions are now well formed.

In human society we learn to value fame, fortune and power as important. These by themselves I consider roadside attractions to get us to move from birth to death. Within any society such goals are self validating, but not sufficient. We also learn the value of charity, the benefit of functioning within human society, without which no single human would survive.

However, all these goals are functional within human society, but say nothing about the significance of existence as we know it, nor about the significance of humanity within this existence. For me it is important that we humans come to an understanding of why existence exists and what we humans are doing within it. This is a tall order - I know -, but it is necessary because the handed down traditions though necessary are no longer sufficient. Humanity needs an understanding of the larger framework of existence, which we are now discovering. Using this Narrative I will attempt to sketch my journey towards such an understanding.
<12:47pm after interruptions and lunch.