After breakfast, John and I had coffee at 8-am for about thirty minutes. John said that it is generally accepted that the pipeline opposition in BC is orchestrated by oil interests from the US. They like to be able to buy Alberta oil at the present suppressed price and BC is helping them do it. When the first Kinder-Morgan line was built it was to terminate in Washington state, but Vancouver got them to switch it to their harbour! So, maybe these present protests are funded by Seattle may be? Payback time, could be!

This turned into the kind of meeting I had been expecting when I started attending this Midweek Midday group!

Last Wednesday I met with our Knox group, which turned into a social, since our Minister Greg was not able to conduct our mini service. Instead we signed up for an email contact list and discussed some other group meetings that are more like a reading group. Don and I had a longer conversation about our professional life, but also about our religious views. This turned into the kind of meeting I had been expecting when I started attending this Midweek Midday group!

Later today, lunch with Herman, which will be a long one I suspect. Yesterday I was up quite late having breakfast at 10-am! So, the morning was soon gone, but later in the aft I attended to some mail, bills and payments. This cleaned up some stuff on my bedroom table. The dining room table is under control, while my plan for today is to create order on my main desk, which may spill over into tomorrow.

I want to follow up on some of my writing from last Tuesday regarding the ‘scourge’ experience. As I applied the idea of practicing to feel a sense of accomplishment after completing a small chore, such as creating order on my dining room table, I caught the ‘scourge’ trying to sneak in ahead of time. Right away after completing this little cleanup I felt an urge to move on to the next task. This is exactly how I ‘installed’ - introjected is the term - that scourge mechanism, back in 1960, in order for me not to rest on my ‘laurels’, but to move on to my next task. This ‘sneaking in of the scourge urge’ I have to stop and learn to catch it in time too, as I did!

The result is, that as a person I do not develop my sense of self value.

It is exactly that urging on to the next task that pre-empts for me any feeling of accomplishment and possible reward. The result is, that as a person I do not develop my sense of self value. This self value feeling was a natural feeling for me as I recall from growing up in Holland until I emigrated to Canada in 1959.

Soon into my immigrant experience I stopped allowing myself those feelings of accomplishment, which I am now in the process of more consciously retrieving and re-establishing. Restructuring is good word for this work and I am thankful that I am able to understand this situation and do the related work for it, with credit to many people in my life over the preceding years.
<10:00am~