Yesterday was a day of contemplation in order to resolve some things in my mind; see below. In the aft I did do a bit of sorting, this time through kept news paper articles, some of which dated back to 2000 when I was in Holland.

I did get the required info from the internet for my flight. West Jet had sent me an extensive email that had helpful points about times and baggage dimensions. I made my meals, read very little and stayed with my thoughts.

Yesterday’s thoughts and contemplation were on the subject of continuous awareness for the human being as it experiences lifetimes in the human realm. I traced the outstanding events and memories across my own life time from the very start until the present of yesterday.

After much going back and forth, I concluded that I must integrate the memories and their emotions as those arose and arise throughout the experience of my life time. The outcome of this integration is the reduction of the memory barrier that exists between life times to keep non integrated memories and emotions at bay. Once this barrier has been reduced sufficiently, older experience content will become accessible a bit at the time.

I see this process as an experiment that must be attempted, because if nothing else it will also be beneficial to my present life. And I may add I have experienced old content on two occasion around the age of twelve. One was the ‘Old Church’ recall as I was on my way to afternoon classes at elementary school in Zeist. The second one was probably that same year while I walked with my brother along the Noordwijk sea boulevard in the summer of 1947 or 1948.

Yesterday afternoon I kept recalling and gathering memories from throughout my life and came to the tentative conclusion that over this stretch of my life time as recalled, lay the trace of this continues awareness. I kept busy with this all evening and even when going to bed and during the night.

Then this morning I awoke from a definite dream and got up at around eight am. The dream runs as follows.

There is much social activity around of which I am a part, but the whole scene is poorly lit. I am in a shop where a children’s choir sings. I am browsing and find two fold out maps of Holland that I keep aside for purchase. Next I select a wood carving to put on a table, which contains two items of value and interest, but remain non-descript in the dream.

I put these selected items in a secure place and get involved with other activities and people around me. I come across a child that wants to stick some sort of tiny cloth pin fork into my eyes. I stop him from doing that and point out to his mother that this is dangerous.

She pays no heed to my concern and leaves the child. He repeats his attempts, but I stop and admonish him. He then starts to put things into this mouth to the point that he is in danger of suffocating himself, but keeps playing with the items in his mouth regardless. This playing is so consistent that I finally take all the items from his mouth except one which is fairly large and has protrusions that would prevent swallowing or even closing the mouth.

I leave the child boy at this point and start looking for my intended purchase items. These are now almost buried in the soil, but I locate them without any problem. I then make my way to the cash register where personnel is busy wrapping things up. I wait my turn while there is still someone in front. This concludes the dream scenes.

Dream comments:

My conclusion is that this dream is telling me to stop going over all this old stuff, take my selected treasures, pay up and get on with it!

These treasures that I find are my discoveries from my recent trip to Holland this summer. The recalcitrant boy child reminds me of myself. My father told me around 1990 when he and my Mom were on their last visit, that as a baby I played with my food when I was about half a year old. I was starving myself and was given up by some of the doctors at the time.

My parents did not give up and found help. They were told to stay away for about six week to keep me from playing with my food by regurgitating it. The nurses had noted that I did this as soon as my mother appeared on the scene.

The dream scene made me recall my Dad’s story about these childhood events and I combined them with my going over my memories which I did yesterday. My conclusion is that this dream is telling me to stop going over all this old stuff, take my selected treasures, pay up and get on with it!
<10:24am~