Here we are, the last day of July already! It was fifty years ago today that my former wife Ina and I got married and stayed that way until about 1993, when we separated and later divorced. However, we had many good experiences and more importantly two fine sons, who are still very much in our lives.

I often recall and dwell on some of my ‘married’ experiences, which still give me new insights into my behaviours and motivation at that time. Doing so is not always a pleasant experience, but it is one of learning most of the time. So, I have no regrets about my marriage [Ina just called], but not about the divorce either, though it was a painful time and experience.

I often recall and dwell on some of my ‘married’ experiences, which still give me new insights into my behaviours and motivation at that time.

Yesterday I went to see Juliet, where we worked on the corrections to some of the last pages of her story, that I type in as she reads them out to me. I did get the printer going again, but it wants a cable connection instead of the wifi. So, that remains a problem to be solved. Juliet and I cooked a nice dinner together from the salmon she had bought complete with a sweet potato and a nicely done salad.

This weekend promises to be a busy one, but all is still unconfirmed plans. What is firm is my lunch with Herman today and the need to get some gas for my car.

About those ‘errors of their own kind’ in thinking and feeling, which I mentioned yesterday. It expresses the notion that once we human are used to solving problems by means of thought, we tend to solve all problems in that manner, but problems of the heart - feelings and values - cannot be solved that way. This is, not without admitting to the presence and impact of the feelings concerned, unpleasant as those might be. Pleasant feelings never seem to cause a problem!

Something similar can be said about feeling - aspects of the heart. Once you rely on addressing problems by changing the feelings about them, you tend to keep doing that for all encountered problems. This despite the fact that some problems need a thinking type solution.

The problem usually is one of available skills. Do you know your feelings well? If not, then you may act from an inappropriate motivation that would offend the other party. Or, in case of your own person, do I know when to relax and enjoy my achievements, or do I push myself from one project to another. I know where of I speak in this case.

I need to remind myself not to forget to make room for self-appreciation, because only if you recognise this for yourself can you help others do this. That is the thing about feelings and values, you have to experience those of yourself, before you can recognise this in other people as well. So, you have to get to know your feelings and not push them away.

So instead of sitting in front of the make-belief screens at home, we should go out into our village, town or city and become actors in our own reality show!

But, thinking skills can also be in short supply. Just like you have to learn to recognise and distinguish your feelings, you have to do the same in case of thoughts and thinking. Here you have to be clear about the categories of thoughts and concepts.

You may call all dark skinned people Africans, but that leads to many misunderstanding. Something similar is happening in our Western world with regard to people who look Middle-Eastern with a beard for men and with a head scarf for women. Not applying this discernment leads to quick feeling value judgements for the wrong person or group. This can and does lead to severe troubles, such as indiscriminate accusations or assaults even.

Thinking skills are much needed in the case of racial discernment, where it is very important to learn about the vast differences that exist within the group of people that look different from ourselves.

This means a lot of work and many different kinds of initiatives, but one place to start is festivals, food fares and entertainment events, of which there exist many in our many cities the world over. So instead of sitting in front of the make-belief screens at home, we should go out into our village, town or city and become actors in our own reality show!
<9:15am~