Laundry due in 15 minutes and the Christmas lights and stars down, which returns my living space to normal. But I will continue making small changes. Tieneke’s desk calendar for this week displays a nice horizon sun’s glow over frosted meadows, a ‘sloot’ - rural polder canal - intersection, with over it a leaning tree shielding the photographer and hesh camera. A winter scene just like I remember them with fondness!

A winter scene just like I remember them with fondness!

Last Friday Sarah with little Sole and I met at Savour, which was packed and noisy with a large group of women in competitive conversation. However, we found our ‘soft chair corner’ well removed and enjoyed our own conversation and Sole’s antics!

Yesterday I met again with friends at the Palliser where we took in Herman’s words of wisdom titled “New Year - New You”, after a three week respite. The company was small, but Thomas attended and gave me a ride home with our customary chat.

Early this aft Jack and I will meet for our monthly coffee to exchange our family holiday experiences and ‘new thoughts’ on our unfolding world. Herman still does not want to do a lunch, which may be due to the cold weather. He is not an outdoorsy type man.
9:11am, time for laundry change over and now done, with the third and last load to go at ten am.

I am contemplating whether or not I should write here on my ‘message’ as I call that for short. With that one word I mean my more elaborate notions about Existence Divine and its application for today in our diverse and conflicted world. I feel that I have some relevant ideas to present, but hesitate to express them. There are two reasons for this.

First my ideas are not fully formed and second I feel vulnerable about making a definitive statement. The former is due to inexperience in expressing ideas in the field of the humanities, while the latter is based on a lack of courage about facing criticism on my ideas and concepts. The latter is ironic, as I can be such a critical person myself, for others and myself as well.

This is very different from my time as starting graduate student in 1967, full of confidence and conviction as to how to proceed with my ‘Masters’ project. Back then, I just had completed my undergraduate degree in Civil and was sure about what I knew based on my four years of study.

But in addition I have to say: 'To the hell with it, this is how I see it and this is how I am going to say and defend it!'

Today I have studied religions and history as an interested layman ever since I was about fourteen years old. That should be good for some confidence and expertise. But in addition I have to say: ‘To the hell with it, this is how I see it and this is how I am going to say and defend it‘.
[Third load into the washer and after a coffee break now 10:40am]

While considering my dilemma folding a drier load and my subsequently coffee break, I realise that if I don’t make my contribution now, it will be left to others to make theirs without mine. At my age of eighty (80) this is a safe bet! And as I set down to start typing the above line I said to myself: “If not now, then when?” But, typing this and combining that with my ‘age statement’, I realise there is probably no when to come. Therefore I say: “It is now or never!”, at least not in this realm of physical place and time.

Hence, I must remind myself: “My message does not have to be perfect in order to be of value!”

All in all, I still have to pick up my courage, prepare to face criticism, since my message and its formulation will be far from perfect, yet constitute an attempt at moving forward in our human way of existence. Hence, I must remind myself: “My message does not have to be perfect in order to be of value!”
<10:55am and 6:40pm~