Yesterday I was busy with an 11am meet with John for coffee and lunch, which was followed with a coffee meet with Anthony [Pastor of Peace Lutheran] all at Chinook. Anthony brought me a copy of Lewis’ “Mere Christianity” which I knew about from my youth, but had never read.

The ‘mere’ refers to the author expressing his conviction in every day terms and experiences, which is very appealing.

So, I perused it some last night and was struck by the impression that Lewis struggles with himself, while formulating and expressing his belief. The ‘mere’ refers to the author expressing his conviction in every day terms and experiences, which is very appealing. I left my copy of a little book on Quimby by ‘Adanzio’ I think, with words by Irvin Seyle and ??? This little book tells Quimby’s story and illuminates his significance in a short and engaging style.

Anthony and I had quite a wide ranging discussion exchanging views, convictions and some personal experiences from our times of coming to maturity. Both of us are Christian, but he is as pastor and in a confessional manner, while I treasure my Christianity as values to live by.

To me its central tenet is that though we make mistakes as we live our lives, there is always room for forgiveness on remorse or repentance. This allows us to move on in our lives preventing us from becoming hostage to our past or hundreds of rules to follow.

This morning I awoke recalling a dream in which a make my way towards a well lit low lying region, while I’m up much higher in a darkly forested area. I first drive in a beefed up version of my now discarded Buick passing inspection by a guard as to its suitability. Driving on I pass some small local children going my way.

Going on I drive too far coming to a well lit deep and steep abyss almost. I turn around and take a road that I passed by earlier to my left . Following it, I am now making my way on foot descending, but still fairly high up. I dare not jump into the bright area. As a I am stalling at the edge a younger man goes right by me, takes the jump down as if it were a few steps and goes on.

I am totally surprised by his ease of doing so and examine the cliff again. It still seems too high to just jump, but I decide to ease myself over the cliff’s edge, then hang from my fingers and then let go. In this process I hit the ground much earlier than expected and am only about two feet down from where I was before! This marks the end of my dream.

I remain on my bed contemplating and waiting what comes to me. The melody and lyrics of the ‘Little Drummer Boy’ emerge into my awareness. “I have a little gift to bring” he sings. Contemplating further I realise that my lived live is the gift that I bring as a contribution and that ’My Message’ essay is more or less that of what I intended as a child when I wanted to become ’an Apostle’.

In the end, I combine the dream, the contemplation about the drummer boy’s gift, with my essay at the end of my life now and my apostle notion from childhood.

This at the time, I was told by Mother and Mr.den Hoed, was not possible since apostles were called by Christ and that he completed that in his life time. That did not change my mind then at around the age of ten and the conviction has stayed with me.

In the end, I combine the dream, the contemplation about the drummer boy’s gift, with my essay at the end of my life now and my apostle notion from childhood.

The dream shows my remaining reluctance to take that big jump off the cliff, symbolising my hesitation about bringing my message in the form the ‘My Message’ essay, which formulates my belief at the concluding time of my life at eighty.
I am reluctant to bring the gift of my life time, but must take the risk of jumping off that cliff and commit myself, as my dream shows me to do.
<10:06am~